Building Who You Are

As a kid and young adult I was defined and active and lazy all in the same sentence. I enjoyed the numerous of sports that I took part in but never liked school clubs. Outside of sports, friends and neighborhood activities like bike riding or hide and go seek (my all time favorite thing to play outside), I was a TV kid who loved shows whether it was next to my grandpa watching old westerns or trying to agree with my sister what should be on; the TV consumed me for years and I never saw it as a problem. It wasn’t until I was nineteen when I moved out of my childhood when a cable bill was far from my budget that I had to find things to do with my time. As I was too old for recreational league sports and couldn’t afford to ride horses anymore I searched to find things that were fun and interesting.  I came close to getting myself into trouble a time or two since the things that interest me weren’t always legal. There was a time that a group of us trucked a mile and a half into the woods in a local town because we new a cell phone tower remained hidden. The boys saw it as something to climb while us girls climbed a few trees and watched from below. Not the smartest thing to do but heck it was a good time. Months later I tried skim boarding on Memorial Day just to have three attempts then I broke my ankle into three pieces; needless to say I gave up on that and never wanted to try again. During my recovery I started going to the gym to get healthy, its surprising how many things you can do in the gym when you can barely use one foot. But to be honest I was just happy it got me out of  the apartment for a couple hours. 

Fast forward to two years later I found myself begging for a DSLR camera. I’ve always been into taking photos for fun but nothing serious. Since I was twelve I have never been without a camera. My mom could see I really wanted to grow with this hobby and for christmas she gifted me a great camera to learn with. This camera became my sidekick, I rarely would go anywhere without it. Often finding things to be artistic even when it was just trash, documenting every detail in my international travels which I’m sure was slightly annoying for my company; but at the end of it all I grew, I learned, I became only interested in this artsy side I never had before (sure I dabbled in creative things before but I was never really good at any of them, I simply enjoyed the act of trying). Photography though became something that I saw myself as good at and others said I was great. It became a constant difference of opinions yet frequently over five years I was asked to take family seasonal photos, pregnancy and newborn photos, anniversary shoots and even had the opportunity to do a couple weddings. At times it became hectic; for every session of photos were followed by hours upon hours of editing. It was a great side gig when I had the time for it and I loved it and so did my son. He has had a great creative eye starting at the age of three and was always extremely careful with my camera. 

Back in May he dropped my camera one time and that was all it took. It completely screwed up my camera, more expensive to fix than the camera was worth. So I was stuck; unable to buy a new one at the time I was left with a passion I could no longer express.  One hobby was great for a long time but then when it was wrecked I had nothing. I was back to my young adult self lost and trying to find new things to occupy my free time.

Between being a single mom, work and traveling, now I find it overly important to have more than just one hobby; multiple things that are completely enjoyable to you so you can always retreat back, to recharge and reignite yourself when life in every other department become overwhelming. Hobbies help build who you are and creates your character that separates you from everyone else. Even when people share the same interest it gives you new perspectives and other people open themselves in different ways that when you share with each other you can grow more in depth. Over the past six months I started working out with a good friend of mine and it has been great. Learning how to lift and building my strength. Something I was never really interested in and now its a great place to release tension. I was presented with the opportunity to use my hands and raw wood, creating beautiful things for myself and others strictly from ideas that I found swimming through my head. It really is something I love and have great company while doing it; someone who continues to teach me new things about this interest and puts up with my continuing collection of new ideas Lastly, luckily I found myself moving my mind, body and soul doing yoga again. It has been years of an off and on ongoing practice. A friend joined this great studio and convinced me to try it out and I am so glad I did. The instructors rotate so unaware of what the flow and meditation will be like its always an interesting good time. 

I am so thankful I got to build, tear down and rebuild myself. I have found a true appreciation for myself, my time and the simple things that surround me. At the end of day I want to be able to show my son there is more to yourself than you think and it never hurts just to try. 

-xo

 

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